


Forgetting

by WantingMore



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 14:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4790594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WantingMore/pseuds/WantingMore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aaron and Robert talk. It's not at all what Aaron was expecting.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Comatosed

"Well, this is weird" Aaron said to the unmoving body laid flat on the small hospital bed.

"I mean, you've usually got summit to say" Aaron sighed and shuffled on the chair closer to the body.

"This is like deja vu, been here before and all that, because I have, talking to someone who might not wake up and-" Aaron stopped his train of thought coming to a realisation. He stood abruptly and paced to the end of the bed, staring down at the blond haired man he'd so _stupidly_  fallen in love with.

"This is the exact same" he ran shaking hands through his own hair.

"You told me and I didn't believe you, oh god, you came to the scrapyard and you told me you loved me and I said no. I thought you didn't, you don't Robert. Your right! You were so right and I couldn't fucking let you go!" Aaron gripped the end of the bed.

Various memories running circles in his mind. "Nah, you couldn't let me go" his voice full of spite.

"You knew this would happen, told me so remember? About Jackson, how you were better off being beaten up than ending up like fucking Jackson." He folded his arms on the end of the bed, bending over to rest his head on them.

"Why is it always me?" Aaron sobbed. Aaron raised his head to look at Robert sleeping peacefully.

"This always happens to people I lo-" Aaron stopped short, it felt like if he said it, it would make it true. He didn't know if he could do that after all Robert had put through.

"I mean look at ya, just like Cain was and Adam when he was in prison, Paddy when you shot 'im, or Belle I mean she went crazy because of us, because of me and what I did to Katie" Aaron took a steadying breath then continued, "now you see, this is why I can't say it back again, it made you go crazy in the end when I did' Aaron cried.

"But if I guess if this _is_  it for you" Aaron looked up to the ceiling needing to find the strength for somewhere to finish this.

"If this is it and you don't make it" Aaron's voice barely a whisper.

"Then I do, and I probably always will" he sobbed.

" _I love you_ , Robert Sugden. So much it hurt us both and everyone else around us. I love you so much and if you never wake up then you've heard it and maybe it wasn't all for nothin', everything we did wasn't for nothin' huh?"

The incessant beeping of the machines and sound of Aaron's cries filled the rooms silence. Aaron wiped his eyes with his sleeve, took a deep breath and walked towards the side of the bed. He took Robert's hand in his own and stood up on his toes to press a kiss atop his forehead.

He sighed and squeezed Roberts hand, "Don't die please, because even if everyone else hates ya, I don't even if I should. If you don't die I could try to forgive you at least, I could be there for you cause I know what it's like, not being right upstairs" he chuckles.

"Even if you took it to the extreme, I mean we're the same aren't we? Must be. Just the opposite though, I lash out at myself and you.. you lash out at everyone else like a proper muppet" Aaron let go of Robert's hand, ready to leave the room. He spinned on the spot, opened the door and took one last glance at Robert.

"I'll come see you when you wake up" he said then left.


	2. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert talk. It's not at all what Aaron was expecting.

Aaron stood outside the doors of Robert's room in the hospital. The sounds of life shifting into the background as he tried to calm his breathing, steady his nerves. He could see through the window of the hospital doors that Rob was awake, more colour in his cheeks than before when Aaron had first visited him. Vic was in there seated on the uncomfortable hospital chair holding her brothers hand talking to him. She seemed more resigned than how she used to talk to him Aaron thought, he didn't even know if she knew the whole story about Katie or if she believed it. Maybe she seems that way because her brother has just been shot by a mystery assailant. Their nattering stops for a few seconds and soon Aaron realises why when Roberts glass like eyes are on him, scanning and searching his face in confusion as to why he would be here.

Vic gets up and says her goodbyes before opening the door for Aaron to take. Victoria looks at Aaron in wonder, gives him a brief smile before giving him a hug.

"I'm sorry", She whispers to him then scoots down the hallway towards the café. Aaron enters the room and stands at the foot of Roberts bed.

"You're awake then" Aaron's says because he has no idea where to start. Robert furrows his eyebrows and hitches himself further up the bed to sit up properly. Aaron looks around nervously, combing his hands through his unwashed hair in wait of an answer. "Why-uh, why are you here?" Robert asks quietly.

"Said I'd see you when you wake up, and here I am, your awake and I'm seeing you" Aaron spouts sarcastically.

"When'dya say that?" Robert scratches his hair.

"When you were pissing about being all comatosed" Aaron replies and steps closer to Roberts bed so he is stood at the right side of him. "Fuck sake you look like shit" Aaron says once he gets a good look at his face.

"Eh thanks?" Robert says, looking down to his hands.

"You alright?" Aaron asks cautiously.

"Yeah, am now thanks to the great NHS but I'm just, having trouble placing you? Your um Chas' lad right?" Robert looks at Aaron and all he sees is a stranger.

Aaron's heart stops for that minute. He clueless as to what to say. His world crashes before his eyes and it feels as though the walls are closing in on him, getting smaller, smaller, smaller. His eyes widen and his breathing becomes erratic and suddenly he's embarrassed to be there. Roberts eyes search his and the thought of Robert finding out who he is is too much.

"Uh I-Yeah, Aaron Livesy, so um what the doctor say" the words tumble from his mouth and he realises it's too late now to say anything. How is he going to do this?

"Turns out it's not 2009, that's what they said" he chuckles. "They think since I flatlined that my brain has been starved of oxygen and somehow it affected the memory part of my brain. I don't really know to be honest, don't speak doctor" he laughs again as though he got a care in the world. He did though about 72 hours ago he had so many cares and mostly about Aaron. Aaron just stares at the man for a time before Robert starts to shuffle about awkward, confused by Aaron's expression. "I uh-Vic told me about moving back to Emmerdale and that was 'bout it, didn't tell me why or that. She did say we were close" Aaron scoffed at that.

"Yeah you could say that" Aaron tries to laugh off his heartbreaking, but his eyes pooling with tears and his lip trembling betrays it. Robert sees it, sees Aaron breaking and he has no idea how but it feels utterly tragic to watch this man upset.

"I-I'm sorry, if who I was before meant a lot to you that is.. but we can try be friends again right? I mean didn't have many of those six years ago but I think you meant a lot to me" Robert does his best to console his new friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. Aaron wipes a hand down his face, trying to take away the grief and loss etched on his features. His smile is tight but reassuring to Robert, it makes him feel lighter.

"Yeah course mate" Aaron says. "No offence but who you were before was a bit of a..." Aaron struggles for the word before Robert interrupts,

"A prick?" Aaron nods his head then laughs. "Probably why someone shot me though innit? Anyway Vic told me how much of a shit I've been lately, think I had a wife? If this wedding bands anything to go by. She said I cheated on her, didn't tell with whom though said I wrecked their life enough" he swallows and its feels like the hardest thing to do. He has no idea who or what he became after so many years. The last memory being living in a shitty flat finally getting a job at some farming company, at least now he has his family though. "Guess I should take it off though, bit weird of me to wear it don't you think?" He asks oblivious to Aaron's inner turmoil. He holds the ring still on his finger and gracefully slides it of his finger then gesturing for Aaron to hold his hand out. Aaron does as instructed and the cold metal of the ring soothes the sweating of his palm.

"Uhh?" Aaron starts.

"Oh, Vic mentioned you having a scrapyard is it? Scrap it or whatever you do mate" Aaron looks a bit shocked then clumsily drops the ring in his jacket pocket.

"Yeah scrapyard that's the one. You had a eh bit of money when your were with this wife, invested in the scrapyard. Started it up really" Robert's eyes bore into Aaron's intrigued in the life he had established in the village. "Sounds cool, do you mind eh I don't know filling me in on bits of my life, well since I don't remember the last half of it" he joked but sadness laced his voice. Aaron nodded happily, wandering which parts to tell him. "Go on then, don't be shy" Robert laughs again. Aaron clears his throat then begins to tell the tale of Robert Sugden (leaving out the many elephants in the room). Once finished, the time was late so Aaron made his excuses then left. He choked back cries and sobs in his car before he went into meltdown, bashing the steering wheel and swearing at the heavens. Why couldn't he still be angry? He knew why. Robert was so vulnerable and small in the hospital, with the obvious grief in his eyes he couldn't be the one to tell him how he's fucked up so many lives because the Robert in there looks so innocent like he could do no such thing. Aaron couldn't be the one to take away such innocence, no way. A empty pit in Aaron's heart settled where there was once rage and hate for Robert. Aaron just felt empty. Who was he supposed to get angry at now? Where was he supposed to put all this love he had for the man? Does he just forget? Because that's what Robert did, he forgot everything they had and were to each other as easy as you forget where you put the car keys or what time you were going out to dinner. He forgot just like that, so maybe they weren't this big thing. Maybe it wasn't worth all the heartache and awfulness their love caused because thats what it feels like, they weren't worth the shit. And maybe Robert was wrong when he said he was enough, because right now Aaron doesn't feel enough, not enough to remember anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to go with this idea so here it is, thank you for reading


	3. Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Vic talk about whats would be best for everyone. And they prepare for Roberts return to the village.

Aaron arrives home at the pub in the early hours of the morning after driving around the picturesque village for what had seemed an eternity, trying to process the news of Robert's memory loss. He clicks the door shut and heads towards the living room, switching on the light. He startles and clutches his chest, swearing to the thin air while Vic sits silently at the kitchen table drinking a double whiskey. Aaron gets over the shock of someone else being awake at this time and sits down opposite Vic on the chair she kicked out for him. She pours him a glass of whiskey also and pushes the tumbler across to him. With a nod of his head Aaron downs the drink, the liquid burning his throat and dulling his senses on the way down. After another glass is poured, words still unspoken Vic sighs heavily. She tries to think of the words but they seem to caught in her throat so Aaron starts for her.

"Never really liked whiskey" he starts. She laughs, her voice croaky.

"Me neither, but I do on this occasion" Vic answers. Aaron looks at her for the first time and it's obvious she hasn't slept for a good time. Her eyes are brimmed red and her hair has been pulled back into a hasty bun. Her hands shake slightly as she tips the glass up to her lips.

"What do we do, Aaron?" she whimpers her voice small like a child's and he feels terrible for not being able to console her.

"No idea Vic, no idea" Aaron looks down to his half full glass.

"But we ain't gonna be able to solve this one over night. Did the doctor say if he'd remember anything?" He asks tentatively, he's scared of both answers of yes and no. Yes would mean Robert goes through all that shit again, they will all have to, No isn't any better because then he doesn't get to be punished, he doesn't get the nightmares that twist his mind, the eternal shame with all the shit he caused. But he gets set free of all of it then maybe they can learn to forget also, leave it behind and not let it eat away at each other.

"Not likely" she whispers. "Some things might come back to him, like where people live or a phone number but not anything big like his marriage or..." Vic can't bring herself to say it, she hates how this could potentially break her best friend.

"Me" he finishes for her. Uneasiness settles around them. The air becomes thin while they struggle to keep their heads above water for everyone's sakes, how do they play this? Do they tell Robert? Or let him live without the burden of his web of lies. The latter seems easiest in Aaron's mind, he can eventually move on from Robert, find someone new who doesn't bring a shitstorm of trouble with them. Robert doesn't even have to move on it's that simple. Vic and Diane can adapt to this new Robert, who wouldn't hurt a fly. They can learn to accept him this way instead of the damaged wreck of a man he was before being shot. The only worry in both their minds to this idea is his demons will continue to devour him unknown to them, he might snap on the inside, maybe hes already learnt to hide his emotions or maybe he can be saved. He can be more open and talk to his family, talk to someone before it's too late and he goes into eventual meltdown.

"We let him move on I say, don't tell him what he did" Victoria wavers.

"But what if he fucks up even more? We don't know how his mental state is right now" Aaron worries. Vic takes a deep breath, her mind in overdrive from all the possibilities.

"He told me the last thing he remembers was living in a shitty flat in London, with out the Whites or the money. Before he had anything to.. well, kill for. He doesn't need to hurt anyone because he doesn't know what it feels like to have everything and lose it. This is like Robert 2.0 before the greediness, manipulation and lies. Well before he got worse anyway" she sighs, her eyes welling up at the monster Robert had become in the last few weeks. Aaron nods, maybe this Robert wasn't as broken and destructive in 2009. Aaron wonders then what changed, what snapped? How did he become so misunderstood and awful but so beautiful and broken? Aaron's thoughts create a whirlpool in his mind, swimming and crashing, the burning alcohol making everything swirl more.

"How can we pull this off Vic? I mean someone in the village is bound to blab" Aaron says.

"Well we just have to make sure they don't, can't be that bad surely. What with Chrissie and her lot gone and Andy fleeing to Spain for a few months I'm sure we can handle it" Victoria says while swishing the remnants of her whiskey around in the glass.

"Yeah but doubt my Dingle clan can keep shtum for long, I mean Cain, me Mum, heck even Zak wants to have it out with him" Vic gives him a look he can't place,

"I'm pretty sure you can keep them in line! Come on Aaron we all need a fresh start from this, you included and I think this is the only way to do it, I'm sure" Vics pleading wears Aaron down and he reluctantly agrees with a nod of the head and downing of whiskey. Vic doesn't head home that night, insteads sleeps on Diane's lumpy sofa. Aaron drags his legs to bed and is sleeping within minutes.

 

 

**1 week later**

 

 

Aaron awakes to the smell of bacon and coffee making his senses come to life. He sits up right opening his eyes, groaning at the light burning his eyes. Lifting his body from his bed he moves like a slug to the bathroom to shower and get ready for today.

_Oh shit, it's today._ Reality crashes down on Aaron at full force mid shower. He nearly topples over at the startling realization, Robert returns from hospital today. He and Vic has everything in place. The plan is for Robert to stay in a poky caravan at the back of the scrapyard out of the villagers way while he settles back in. Aaron has offered him a job at the scrapyard which Victoria said he keenly accepted. This was Robert's life now, or for the time being, carefully mapped out for him by Aaron and Victoria who had gave all the villagers a clear warning on what should be said if they ever do talk to Robert.

Aaron gave a extra special warning to the Dingles to stay away. No point trying to finish a fight Robert doesn't even remember starting Aaron told them. Their faces were picture but the message had gotten through loud and clear, Chas however made no such promises.The plan was simple for them, Aaron would collect Robert from hospital, drive straight to the scrapyard and drop him off to a waiting Victoria and Diane who'd made him a nice cottage pie to enjoy and settle him in. Aaron was still preparing himself for seeing Robert again since the last time he'd seen him was the week before. Robert has changed, Aaron knows that, but how much? Aaron has their whole history in his mind going on and on like a flip book and it's exhausting. So was hating Robert, that exhausted Aaron to his limits and now, he want to move on from Robert, start a fresh. Yes, maybe they can be friends maybe Robert will be fine on his own. Aaron doesn't want a repeat of last year again. Their love killed, literally, so many people in so many ways and he can't let that happen, he won't.

So with this plan all figured out in his head Aaron heads downstairs to be greeted by a singing Victoria, cooking him his favourite bacon roll. He sits at the kitchen table and inspects his his rolls then digs in. Vic repeats his action once she finishes making them both a strong coffee and setting them down on the table.

"Today's the day then" she states, raising her eyebrows. Aaron takes the last bite of his roll,

"Can't wait" he says sarcastically coming out in a mumble due to his full mouth and rolling his eyes sky high. He stands and heads to out to the hallway to grab his jacket and leave, Victoria follows him through to wave him off with a cheery smile and then he's off on the road toward the hospital.

He arrives outside the hospital bang on 12 feeling a little proud of himself for doing so. Roberts waiting for him when he gets to the reception wearing a dopy smile and carrying a pharmaceutical bag, which Aaron finds adorable. _No, no, no he is not adorable_.

"Hi" Aaron mumbles, avoiding eye contact.

"Hey", Roberts replies, his voice musical, happy. And Aaron glad that this seems like genuine happiness and not the fake facade he always out on around the whites. "We off then? Diane said yous have got me place set up at the scrapyard" Robert says when the moments dragged onto long Aaron nods, then continuing the conversation about the caravan and the work Robert will be doing for him. The talking lasts for a while before a comfortable silence settles half way through the car drive back to Emmerdale. Once the reach the outskirts Robert starts to worry about how it'll be coming back here. He doesn't even know half the rumours that will be flying round or who owns the shop now. How can he do this? Come back to where his father told him to never return.

"Stop, stop" Robert turns to Aaron and pulls into a layby. No wait, their layby. "I don't know if I can go back there" Robert whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm sorry to end it there, but of a cliffhanger I soppose but I wanted this chapter out. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so short but the next chapter will definitely be a longer one. Thank you for reading!


End file.
